The following is another in the Putziler Prize winning series, The Swearing Handyman. Today's edition outlines tips, tricks and steps to replace a hot water heater that has suddenly--and gushily--decided to give up the ghost...and the 40 gallons of water that had been so recently and neatly stored. Anyway, on to the steps.
1. Come home late, ready to go to bed and discover water running all over.
2. Freak in as dignified a manner as possible. I suggest streaking the neighborhood while swearing in tongues, but go with what feels natural. This is key. But avoid firearms...also: key.
3. Remember: the little knob that cuts water flow. It looks like...a little knob.
3a. You may not recall this until you've gone through your personal #2 process.
3b. Also...the gas...ya might wanna turn THAT knobby, too.
4. Choke back the overwhelming paralysis that creeps up on you when you realize a plumber is about to put at least one of his kids through a private community college on your dime.
5. Call reinforcements--I call mine, "Dad." There is no shame in this step; cold showers for the next week while burning through 3 returned and ineffective heaters because you were too friggin proud to call someone who's been there/done that...it's called st00pid.
5a. Avoid st00pid.
6. Do the requisite research. (It ain't called "The Google" for nuthin.) In other words, read the side of the old one and call around for $$ on new ones.
7. Repeat step 2. Perhaps a coupla times. Then just buy the damn thing, unless you like stinking.
8. Have it ready and waiting when reinforcements show up.
9. Watch intently. You may face this again, and it might be nice if you could contribute.
10. Lift, connect, switch stuff back on, light.
11. Enjoy!
This is another re-post from a work originally posted in Feb. 2009, but it fits TaG&WaM just dandy, so.... Besides, it's-a my blog and-a my post an' I'll do what I want...as ever. ENJOY!
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