I recently posted a link elsewhere to a site that supports Net Neutrality. [An excellent definition of and summation on net neutrality can be found HERE. The site itself: HERE.] What followed very quickly was something that could be loosely defined as a “discussion” about this particular issue with someone who disagreed ostensibly because…Net Neutrality would lead to freedom of speech being stripped from us all.
*blink*blink*
It took a mere two posts to get there...making it illegal for ISP providers to restrict access to information would lead to making the First Amendment moot. This is not a stupid person; she’s not “bad." (However…she does likes herself some WrongWing NutJob radio and TV, apparently.) She kept arguing that OF COURSE! net neutrality was going to lead to an oppressive state with Obama as its Emporer--a senseless, panicky position I found as incomprehensible as the *aherm* “reasoning“ behind/on top of it--then, I suddenly saw what caused that knee-jerk reaction: the link’s summary started, “President Obama has repeatedly called for Net Neutrality.”
The clouds parted; the music from angels-n-harps swelled to crescendo and it hit me like a ton of rendered fat: Rush, Beck(y), Ann “Is It Cold In Here, Or Is It Me” Coulter, Palin, Hannity and all the rabid tea-baggers, birthers, death panelers, and faux-patriots-- they’re all Helen Boucher.
You know Helen Boucher. No? Well, you certainly know Kathy Bates’ extraordinary turn as Helen Boucher…”Momma” in The Waterboy? Am I ringin’ yer bell yet? Y’know…the one who hated “foo’s-ball,” even though she had no real reason and it was something her son was good at and wanted to do. Remember? Her only explanations for being against ANYTHING revolved around brow-beating anyone who DARED like “foo’s-ball” and calling it and anyone who encouraged Bobby “Deh Debil,” along with anyone or anyTHING else she just didn’t like.
The Republican Party response and that of the (Not So) Great BLARGLING! Masses to anything the president wants and or/supports is:
...Obama is Deh Debil!
Limbaugh is their de facto leader (as much as Beck(y) pretends to the throne) and has become Momma Boucher. Rush in drag - full throated BLARGLE! - calls to his minions with the mating…I mean “rallying”…cry:
Obama is Deh DEBIL!
Close your eyes and go with me to ImaginationLand: Picture Rush in all his *COUGH* “Glory.” (Need a vomitous break? I can wait…mind the splatter. TYVM.) Mentally strip off the overpriced, overstuffed golf shirt (a waste of money AND fabric) and those laughable, if voluminous, khakis. (Mentally leave on the man-thong/garter/hooker boot set he wears underneath--y’know--fer decency.) Slap Momma Boucher’s wig on that pate, a cheap cotton dress from the 1970’s (with all the matching accessories, including hat-n-purse)on that ass…then just listen to what oozes outta his mouth; watch the ludicrous turkey-neck wobble as he tries to form coherent arguments with lips still begging to suckle just one more time at Reagan‘s overrated teat (nom-nom-NOM!): Rush in drag and at full-throated BLARGLE! Do you see it? How could you not!?! He IS Momma Boucher…. They’re ALL! become Momma Boucher…. We’re damned near surrounded by an (almost) army of BLARGLING! Mommas!
Don’t get me wrong, there is actually much to criticize about the president. (I’m especially afraid health care reform, if it passes in its current iteration, is going to be terrible, but mainly because the Corporate Spankerchiefs that make up the national Rethuglickin Party were allowed to have way too much influence. But not because it‘s “Socialism.” Seriously, if you‘re gonna use big words…know what the fuck they mean AND how they apply first. But that’s all for a later rant.) But just because the president wants something is no reason to be reactionary-ily agin’ it.
BLARGLE!
There is legitimate room for reasoned debate on nearly every issue. But…being reasonable with the preternaturally Unreasonable is to invite chaos, migraines, and unintentional proximity to tea-baggers and an Oxycontin infused splatter.
Looky here, BLARGLERS! And lemme hit ya in that pronounced brow ridge with the Cudgel of Knowledge, as Bobby might put it: Everything is deh debil to you, Momma! Well, I like educated leaders, and I like my internets neutral! And I'm gonna keep ‘em both because they make me feel good! And by the way, Momma, "Joe Liebermans" are ornery 'cause of their "Medula Oblongata"! And I like the internet, and it likes me back! And it showed me its boobies and I like them too!
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