Tilting at Ginmills & Whacking at Molehills: July 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

There once was an ass from Wasilla
Whose lips gave a rise to some fellas.
She played on some fears,
Then said with a sneer:
"My boobs are my brains, so they're jealous."

Go ahead...refudiate THAT.

Republican Campaign Slogans!

Romney 2012: Because nothing says 'leadership' like a multi-millionaire jealous of a welfare Christmas.

Romney 2012: Kolob is real, but climate change is a myth.

Vote GOP: Because there is a B.L.A.C.K. guy in the W.H.I.T.E. House. C'MON!

Vote GOP: Loose change you can believe in.

Vote GOP: WE'RE HERE! WE JEER! WE MAKE SHIT UP! GET USED TO IT!!!!

Vote GOP: Because 2000-2008 never really happened.

Vote GOP: Trickle Down Economics: Third Time's a Charm!

Vote GOP: Now, 99.9% "brown" free!

Vote GOP: And you thought an elephant couldn't forget.

Vote GOP: While an elephant may never forget, they are often self-deluded.

Vote GOP: Because Fear Trumps Fact.

Vote GOP: TEA for 2...2 per centers, that is.

GOP: Trickle-down economics and trickle-down hate...a winning combination!

The GOP: The best in institutional bigotry since Lincoln died.

Original Chuck Norris Facts (as translated from the original Douchebag)

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing…yet can’t define “socialism” or use it correctly in a sentence.
Chuck Norris isn’t scared shitless; Shit is scared Chuck Norris-less.
Jesus legally changed His name to “Chuck Norris” so that people would mutter “Chuck H. Norris” when confronted by unbelievable bullshit.
In Islam, “Chuck Norris” is an expletive. Roughly translated, it means, “To excrete one’s weight in obfuscation, mendacity, and xenophobia.” [Chuck Norris didn’t look those words up in the dictionary; they looked up Chuck Norris and explained themselves. “Expletive” sent a nice e-mail.]
Chuck Norris is the reason we laugh when someone says, “But that IS 6 inches!”
Assless chaps are assless so Chuck Norris knows exactly where to stick it….
When Chuck Norris speaks, the English language dies juuuust a little bit more.
The best counter to a logical argument attempted by Chuck Norris is “Reeeeeeaaaalllly?”
Chuck Norris refuses to believe in a Jesus that healed the sick without asking for proof of citizenship and an insurance card first. That’s why Glenn Beck is now editing the Bible….in crayon….
When the Boogey-Man goes to sleep at night, he covers his mouth so Chuck Norris can’t pop outta the closet and tea-bag him.
Chuck Norris sued the manufacturers of douchebags for copyright and patent infringement and won an undisclosed settlement.

Tilting at Ginmills & Whacking at Molehills

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Ditty for a (Not So) Pretty (Not So) Little Liar

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